The Spider

This happened yesterday but I'm just now recovering from the shock, awe, and utter terror to just now write about it.

So yesterday, I woke up around 10AM. People were already gone for work so it was just me, alone, in the house. Or at least that's what I thought. I take my shower and as I turn off the water I open up the curtain. Well I see this dot on the ground and as I shift my gaze towards it I discover, quite to my dismay, that it's a spider about the size of a quarter. And it's just staring at me. Being rather defenseless (as I tend to shower defenseless) I froze for a brief moment, staring into its eyes staring into my soul. I could see thoughts of blood red murder coursing through its spidery head. One wrong move and it'd make its own move, killing me and doing unspeakably horrible things to my once youthful and living body.

With neither of us willing to place forth the first move in our deadly game I decided to inspect it a little closer. I bent down slightly, making sure to keep my face well out of range of its acidic and toxic webbing. Upon my slightly closer inspection I noticed it had what appeared to be tufts of hair upon its abdomen. I thought it was certainly odd to see a spider of that size that fuzzy but didn't think any further on the matter, lest I drop my guard and leave myself open for a killing blow. I straightened up, quickly grabbed my towel, sidestepped out of the shower towards the door, and went and grabbed a shoe. I came back and much to my surprise and alarm the spider was exactly where I left it. It hadn't left to go set up an ambush, it hadn't gone onto the ceiling to drop down and bite the back of my neck and inject a neurotoxin, it had simply stayed put and stared at the tub I was once in.

So this was it. The final showdown. I raised my shoe up. I could see the murderous intent in its eyes, the look of pure rage and hatred, the wanton wanting of my destruction, to see every fiber of my being ripped into shred and torn again into smaller shreds, the ways it would eviscerate my cold and dead body when it finished its maniacal plan, the I squished it with my shoe. I thought I did. The spider shot across from where I hit it and stopped where the tub met the floor. And where it once stood quietly and intensely, there was now

A DOZEN LITTLE BABY SPIDERS RUNNING IN ALL DIRECTIONS!!! THE BIG ONE DIDN'T HAVE RANDOM TUFTS OF HAIR, IT HAD LITTLE BABY SPIDERS ON IT! I JUST ATTACKED THE SPIDER SCHOOL BUS AND LOOSED THEM UPON THE WORLD! ALL OF THEM, EACH AND EVERY ONE FULL OF HATRED AND INTENSE RAGE AS THE SCUTTLED ABOUT IN RANDOM FASHIONS TRYING TO TAKE COVER FROM MY NOW SMASHING SHOE!

At this point I was panicking and hitting the ground with my shoe as fast as I possibly could, each blow crushing one of the little bastards and sending the others in a new direction. When I finally finished killing all of them I looked back at the larger spider. It was still sitting there where it had moved to, battered and broken. I made short work of it and went to go grab a paper towel to pick up the mess they had made.

The truly terrifying part is that my first thought was to just grab the big one with a paper towel and kill it that way, which would have simply resulted in the little ones hopping off and RUNNING DOWN MY SPIDER-COVERED ARM AND KILLING ME IN A HORRIBLY GRUESOME DEATH!!!